You've definitely heard of people that refuse to change. Some of them are genius leaders, and some are just stubborn jerks that nobody wants close by. And there's an entire spectrum of people in between, and both you and I are somewhere in that spectrum.
One of the most important traits I learned during my time on this planet is that whenever I look into myself, I usually find another way to become a better person. You probably came to the same conclusion, especially in times when you faced problems that you had to deal with.
take a look at this table and see where you fit in. Depending on where you find yourself, you're either set on a road to doom, or a road to success... or somewhere in between, with the rest of the crowd. Wherever you find yourself, remember, there's always room for improvement.
Low level of self-mastery | Moderate level of self-mastery | High level of self-mastery | |
General Behavior | Exhibits reactive, unproductive behavior most of the time, with minimal personality integration demonstrated | May be aware of own inner experience, but responds out of habit more often than not; may demonstrate some degree of personality integration | Is highly aware of own inner experience and able to respond out of choice in productive and highly flexible ways, demonstrating a high degree of personality integration |
Self-Awareness | Is unaware of own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and/or dishonest about true motivations; not self-observing | Can be self-aware, although does not routinely put a high priority on this; has more difficulty being self-aware under duress; is intermittently self-observing | Routinely accesses and is honest about own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors; has realistic self-image; able to be self-observing almost always |
Responsiveness to Feedback | Defends against, denies, and ignores feedback and/or blames others when criticized | Sometimes responds to feedback, but can also be under- or over-responsive to feedback | Welcomes feedback and uses it constructively; can distinguish between accurate feedback and opinion |
Self-Responsibility | Has distorted perceptions of own motivations; sees others as causing his or her behavior; projects own thoughts and feelings onto others | Can act self-responsibly, but also has difficulty differentiating own responsibility from that of others | Takes full responsibility for own actions |
Self-Motivation | Is either unmotivated or motivated by negative factors such as internal fears or external threats | Is partially self-motivated; often expects others to be the motivating force | Is highly self-motivated and self-determining |
Self-Management | Is overcontrolled or out of control; behavior is highly reactive | Sometimes makes conscious choices, but more often acts as if on automatic pilot | Is highly self-managing rather than reactive or acting out of habit; is in control without being overly self-controlled or controlling; makes conscious and constructive choices |
Emotional Maturity | Has low emotional maturity; perceives self as Victim | Has moderate-to-low emotional maturity; fluctuates between personal reactivity and the ability to have perspective on self, others, and events | Has high emotional maturity in almost all situations; can rise above personal responses to understand multiple factors and perspectives affecting the situation |
Personal Vision | Has no personal vision or negative vision | Has unarticulated or oversimplified personal vision | Has clear, positive vision |
Integrity | Behaves and acts inconsistently with values or has destructive values | Generally has positive values, but behaviors not always consistent with values | Has positive values and “walks the talk” |
Personality Integration | Behavior reflects a low level of accurate self-knowledge and incongruity among thoughts, feelings, and behaviors | Behavior reflects intermittent self-knowledge and/or an overemphasis on thoughts, feelings, or actions; behavior not always congruent with feelings or stated intentions | Behavior demonstrates a high degree of self-knowledge and is congruent and integrated with thoughts and feelings |
Lifelong Learning Commitment | Has no commitment to self-development or lifelong learning | Has moderate-to-low commitment to self-development; engages in self-development under duress | Has high commitment to ongoing self-development, demonstrated through continuous action |
edited from Ginger Lapid-Bogda, Ph.D., Bringing Out The Best In Everyone You Coach. (McGraw Hill, New York, 2010) pp. 14, 15.
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If you liked this post please spread the word and help others grow.
Don't forget to take a look at the Psychology and Character Growth Products page
